Afternoon: sort out the papers which have built-up on the table and on top of the piano and put them into box-files which takes time. Finish reading Nicholas Cooke's 'Music, Imagination and Culture'. Cooke draws attention to a very important point apropos Schoenberg: that he (Schoenberg) thought of music in terms of 'meaning' rather than 'effect' produced in a listener. Although a truism, this idea and the book as a whole, has provided new insights for me. This evening, with all musical arrangements complete, it's time to begin thinking how to present the Schenker lectures. Also, time to look at notebook which contain three strong ideaswhich have emerged for pieces: i) Lament - A Son Returns; ii) In Memory; iii) the Gurdjieff/Schenker idea which also has a provisional title; iv) the Glennie/Bruford sketch. Often, titles and very basic musical ideas for structure, which may be represented as a diagram, are written into the current notebook and, if they have a feeling of strength about them after a period of time has elapsed, they often form the basis for a piece, although the idea may be completely overturned during the process of composition. If titles/ideas are deemed immature after a period of time, they are jettisoned. Titles must be capable of operating on multiple levels of meaning. Looking forward to some space to begin thinking more thoroughly about what may emerge, compositionally speaking. Always an exciting and meaningful time.

6 10/29/1999 9-00 - 22-30: complete arrangement #2 for the 'tribute concert, for voice, acoustic guitar, bass guitar, flute and string quartet. Photocopy, bind and post scores to Iain, take copy to Fleetwood for Mike F. Exhausted at the end of the day, but it's done. Proof-read and post string quartet parts tomorrow.

3 10/26/1999 Morning: happy time, holidays! Well, at least today. Listen to Alan Bush's Nocturne...on an old English Sea Song, Delius's Double Concerto, Holst's Brook Green Suite, Bowie's Heroes and Ultravox's Systems of Romance. Erroneously thought that the Ultravox was made before the Bowie, but discover that this isn't the case. Last year went to see John Foxx perform in Manchester, which was a memorable event not only because of JF's excellent performance, but because it brought home the importance of the functional purpose of music in comparison with an afternoon concert we had attended as part of the ISCM World Music Days. Also receive E-mail from Elizabeth S. who has successfully given her seminar on the flute piece, In the Clear.

Afternoon: to Lancaster. Afternoon tea in the centre, then temptation takes hold and to record shop to buy a CD of Purcell's Dido and Aeneas as a replacement for my old, scratched vinyl copy. In the shop there is a CD playing which begins, gradually, to try my patience. Pace around listening for a while before enquiring what it is. My instincts are right. Yet another example of the power of marketing taking the place of craft and musicianship. It seems to me that this is becoming the policy more and more in many areas of contemporary music making. No wonder the 'spirit' has left.

Evening: E-mail for Jacob and Susanna. They are recording One Flesh on November 29th. Reply with thanks. E-mail from Scott who has now received the score of the DGM orchestration. Also considering going to hear Opus 20 perform Hidden Streams at The Warehouse, in London, next Thursday evening (4th Nov.). However, it may be difficult to make the trip on this occasion. Play through Grieg on the piano for Liverpool tomorrow, then play through pieces set for the 'tribute' concert on guitars.

2 10/25/1999 8-50: sleep longer than usual. With some space at half-term it's always easy to become lazy. However, get up and complete the cello part of the 'tribute' arrangement, and by mid-morning have cleared the recent backlog of paperwork and phone calls/e-mails to be made.

11-15: E-mails from Alison Hayhurst who would like to record In the Clear on Thursday of this week. Reply positively. Phone Dill, who is to record the piece, to say a score is on the way. E-mails from Scott re DGM orchestration. E-mail Ken Nicol re 'tribute' concert.

14-30: photocopy/bind score and parts for the 'tribute' concert; In the Clear (solo flute) and One Flesh (treble viol and lute) for Dill; Off The Beaten Track (viola and piano) for Scott Dickinson (viola) who would like a copy, and Sacred Time (solo harp) for Lucy Wakeford who has asked for a score.

16-50: to Post Office to mail all scores and correspondence.

18-00: to Fleetwood to collect Sue from work. Return, make meal, briefly work on guitar and prepare Grieg for Wednesday in Liverpool. Energy levels are getting low. Beginning to feel that, eventually, something will have to give. However, I've been feeling this for a long, long time. Write to Dr. M. re Kingfisher dream.

1 10/24/1999 Morning: work on copying string quartet parts for the 'tribute' concert. Steven Wray phones saying he's returned for a couple of days, and invites Sue, Jamie and I to the Lake District. Afternoon: Lake District. Raining, but we manage a short walk from White Moss Common to Grasmere via Dove Cottage and back, with liquid refreshment at a pub in Grasmere centre. Autumn colours are really magnificent, with an endless fall of leaves near the waterfall at White Moss. Dark skies. Is there a piece by one of a sixteenth century English composer called 'Fall of the Leaf ' ? (Martin Pierson, perhaps?) (Yes! Later find it in my copy of the Fitzwilliam Virginal Book: 'The Fall of the Leafe' by Martin Peerson.) Ideas...ideas...for a series of short piano pieces collectively called 'A Cumbrian Notebook' which has been with me for several years. Too self-conscious? Possibly, but I believe that the post-modern ethos may be a dead duck and, perhaps, Harold Bloom is right in suggesting that a restoration of Romanticism is now with us. Steven and I discuss the possibilities.

Evening: E-mail from Keith. Nice to hear from him after what seems like a long time. E-mail from Jacob wanting Dill's phone number to arrange recording of 'One Flesh'. Continue copying string parts for the 'tribute' concert, but hear and add a counter-melody to the viola/cello for the repeat of the first verse.

7 10/23/1999 9-30: teaching in RNCM Junior School. Listen to first movement of Bartok's Fourth String Quartet with a student. What incredible music!

14-45: into Manchester to buy CD of Grieg's 'Holberg Suite' to study and play for students at Liverpool on Wednesday. City-centre is crowded to bursting. Find CD and escape back to Oxford Road station, with a train home, as-fast-as-possible. Half-term holiday has just begun. At least, no school teaching but one visit to Liverpool mid-week. Read Ouspensky on return journey. Interested in what G. has to say about teachers, and feel that some of the ideas touch on Jung's ideas about projection of the shadow.

18-00: Pleased to see that a recent magazine review of the Opus 20 CD have singled out 'Meditatio' as having an 'affecting melancholy and lyricism'. E-mails from Jacob and Susanna, saying that after rehearsals, Fretwork are pleased with 'Afterwords'.

17-30: stay at Sue's parents to look after their dog, Jamie. Sue's parents are away overnight. Continue copying string parts for 'tribute' concert. Watch 'Erased' on TV. Feel totally exhausted after this total action movie.

4 10/20/1999 8-15: check DGM orchestration parts against score.

9-25: photocopy and send to Ann of Opus 20. Also send A3 score to binders to be forwarded to Scott by October 25th. Phew! It's done and launched...hoping everyone will eventually be happy. To be recorded early November. Also send Elizabeth In the Clear plus an analysis of the piece to make life easier for seminar presentation.

12-00: depart Poulton-le-Fylde. Back to reading Dunsby-Whittall book on music analysis, and juggle this with listening to music by Iain C. Tired after the morning rush-around and fall asleep. Wake up at St.Helens.

13-25: arrive Liverpool Lime Street. Walk around the mandala-like interior of Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral. The stained glass bathes the interior in blue, red and orange light. Sit in the Lady Chapel for a few moments. Silence.... Once attended a performance of Arvo Part's 'St. John Passion' in this building. Memorable. The lines, punctuated by silences, hung in the air as if frozen in time.

14-00 - 15-30: teach. Enjoyable.

16-00: depart Liverpool. Listen further to Iain's music. On return find E-mails from Scott, Steven W. (re 'tribute' concert) and son, Christopher who is fine in Reading.

19-30 - 22-00: work on the guitar for the 'tribute' concert. Also begin thinking how to arrange songs for string quartet. Should be no problem with half-term next week. Seems like this year I've exchanged roles - from composer to arranger. After eleven pieces written last year production, on original pieces, seems to have slowed down. Fallow years have happened before. No worry. See Robert Fripp is reading Fukuyama. My copy of 'The End of History and the Last man' awaits completion from three years ago. Engaging material but no time to complete it.

3 10/19/1999 9-00 - 12-15: teaching. A-Level Composition and flute.

12-45 - 14-15: continue the cutting and glueing process of part-writing for the DGM orchestration. Only the cello and double bass parts to go.

14-15 - 5-15: teaching A Level and I.B. Composition.

5-45: to library. 'Burning Waters' by artist Victor Pasmore has arrived. Impressed by the recent Pasmore exhibition at the Liverpool Tate. Feel that Pasmore is an artist who continually re-invented himself without losing sight of his original vision.

18-15: E-mails and telephone message from Iain C. who has ideas for funding. Ken Nicol (Albion Band) has also left a message re 'tribute' concert. Elizabeth E. from Huddersfield University requires a score and recording of 'In the Clear' for seminar presentation.

2 10/18/1999 9-00 - 14-30: teach.

15-15: look over and fine-tune the orchestration by adding harmonics and further dynamics. Play through on the piano. Seems to work. Final section should be powerful in performance. By photocopying my original score, begin cutting and glueing parts having no time to write out in full. Should suffice for purposes of recording, which will help the players to see what the others are playing.

19-30: play guitar. Work on possible pieces for 'tribute' concert. What a good feeling to get back to the guitar.

1 10/17/1999 9-15: completed 3-3-2-2-1 arrangement of DGM orchestration late last night. Desperately need a day off. Phone Lake District 'weatherline'. Prospect of a fine day.

11-30: meet Linda and Kevin at Granada Services on M6. Coffee and then decide where to go for a walk. Decide on Loughrigg, but traffic queue puts pay to this. Instead, turn right for Troutbeck, drive over Kirkstone Pass and park cars at the bottom of the Pass. Walk up the valley beside Caiston Beck, eat lunch beside the beck close to the col at Scandale and walk over Little Hart Crag and High Hartsop Dodd. Brothers Water in the foreground and Place Fell and Angle Tarn Pikes bathed in sunshine in the background, ending with an exploration of an ancient enclosure near Hartsop Hall. An undocumented stone circle? Back to cars for around 17-00. Discuss Schenker with Kevin. Wonderful, late autumn weather: strong sun with excellent visibility. Meal and then home. Feel very rested. What would we do without being able to visit the Lakes on a regular basis? It continues to be my 'spiritual' and creative home, and a 'place to be'.

7 10/16/1999 8-00: The final day of this week's travelling having spent six days, out of the last seven, on the railways and visiting three cities in the UK. Today was Manchester and the RNCM Junior School. The students, as ever, have been producing splendid work. Also read two excellent articles, one musical and the other astrological (dealing with archetypes) by Iain Cameron and others, on the music of Nick Drake which passed the time spent on the train very quickly. Arrive back at 16-10. Phone Iain and congratulate him on his work. Talk about plans for us to perform in future 'Tribute' concert. Kevin phones. A day in the Lake District tomorrow? Return to DGM orchestration. Closer to completion. Violin II/3 needs more interesting part.

6 10/15/1999 9-14: awoke feeling ill due to previous day's lack of food and late night. By 10-30, having recovered a little, take train from Sydenham to London Bridge. To Tower Records where I find CD of African percussion music by Dombra Folee.The Northern Line is crowded to bursting. Squashed against doors.

12-35: depart Euston, finding that seat reservation has been made in carriage reserved for smokers. Dreadful! Packed train so stick to seat, though suffocated by seven smokers. Continue with Nicholas Cook's 'Music, Imagination and Culture', and the Ouspensky.

15-37: arrive Poulton-le-Fylde, miss the bus and walk the three miles home. Continue with DGM orchestration. By 20-30 three pages left to complete.

5 10/14/1999 7-00: DGM orchestration shaping up.

9-00 - 11-15: teach.

12-25: depart Poulton-le-Fylde. Stop at Preston. To Harris Library to find article covering Opus 20 CD release in Blackpool Evening Gazette from yesterday. To bookshop and find Ouspensky's 'A Further Record'.

13-20: depart Preston bound for Euston. Reading Nicholas Cook's 'Music, Imagination and Culture'. Very interesting. Juggle this with 'In Search of the Miraculous'. G. again to the point, though some of this is difficult to grasp such as his dimansional thinking. Easy to read but not for me to comprehend.

16-15: arrive Euston. To bookshop. Then on to Hackney. On arrival can't find anywhere to eat. Go to concert venue: Round Chapel, in the Hackney Autumn Festival. Wakeford Trio play Debussy's 'Trio for flute, viola and harp', Takemitsu's 'Towards the Sea III', Debussy's 'Syrinx' and others. My own 'In the Clear' for solo flute is performed by trio member Alison Hayhurst. Magical performance, which has been choreographed by Sophia Lycouris. The whole performance is a 'gesamtkunstwerke': a 'total work of art'. No applause between items, the programme is performed with dance and lighting. Steven Wray, and I, feel that it was 'balm for the soul'. 'In the Clear' is well received. Overall, the programme has a great healing effect for us both. Speak with performers and Paul Sherman afterwards. Turns out Alison was born in Alton, Staffordshire, and I was born in Denstone one mile away. Incredible that she also knows people I knew as a child and that she used to play the flute at concerts in Denstone Church, where I also spent time as a child. She is planning to record the piece sometime during the next few weeks. Return to Sydenham with Scott, the viola player, via Millenium Dome. Stay with Steven Wray in Sydenham. Borrow Steven's copy of J.G.Bennett's 'Witness'.

4 10/13/1999 11-00: depart Poulton. Triumph! Forte-Gilbert complete. Feel closer to cracking Schenker's analytical methods. Fat chance of that!

12-25: arrive Liverpool Lime Street.

14-00 -15-30: teach. Students accidentally talk about Schenker. Have clearer idea on how to present this is lectures. Needs to be presented clearly and cogently.

15-55: depart Liverpool Lime Street. One of G's ideas fuses further with one of Schenker's. Feel excited. Began thinking about this three weeks ago on the same journey. No accident that it should happen in this way. Clear ideas for structure. Hear music for orchestra. Impractical? Need time to write. Write conceptual ideas into notebook. Grand scheme! Too Romantic?

3 10/12/1999 Thoughts on the past weekend of performances: do unseen hands prepare us for times in our lives when events lie outside our control? This continues to be my experience. The weekend of concerts have, to some extent, verified this. Some of the pieces performed were written very quickly during the course of last year, and I felt some concern whether they would actually work, technically, intuitively and in performance. However, the results have seemed positive. It's possible to interpret most things by subjective means but, in this case, a certain objectivity seems to have prevailed.

2 10/11/1999 morning: Susanna and Jacob give a private performance of 'One Flesh' for treble viol and lute in the living room. Is it possible I wrote this? Don't feel responsible. Wonderful performance. Very moved. Takes return journey to Telford and a dose of Schenker to calm down. Susanna and Jacob have got to the root of this music. As Dr. M has been suggesting for years, it's best to follow the promptings of the unconscious, by marrying the technical with the intuitive side in composition. Back to Shropshire to pick up car from Bridgnorth. DGM orchestration project foregrounds itself on arrival home at 21-30.

1 10/10/1999 morning: to Rosalind Rawnsley's house. Further discussion about musical matters with Kirsty, Rachel, Rosalind and John.
Afternoon: train journey from Telford to London Euston. Meet Scott Stromann, Paul Sherman, Cathy Stevens and Steven Wray. Tea with Susanna Pell and Jacob Heringman, who have just returned from Mallorca where, on the previous evening, they have performed in a concert which included 'One Flesh (Pellingman's Sarabande)' which I wrote last year. They are both enthusiatic, but exhausted from the flight. Evening: Discipline/Opus 20 'Hidden Streams' CD launch concert. A memorable event due to the many different musical styles involved. In retrospect, an experience of wholeness. Paul Patterson's Violin Concerto is an extrovert work, while 'Hidden Streams', which Opus 20 also play, 'Off the Beaten Track', which Cathy Stevens and Steven Wray perform, and Jacob Heringman's performance are more inward looking. Introduce 'Off the Beaten Track' and brief words about 'Hidden Streams'. Pleased to see Robert Fripp and speak with him before and after concert. Robert asks me to go on a Guitar Craft course in Argentina as his guest. Pleased but must think about it. David Matthews is encouraging and offers possible ideas for commissioning. Meet Udo, Iain, Jackie and Peter. Also speak with Diane, Laura and Alex. Stay with Heringmans.

7 10/09/1999 morning: drive to Manchester to teach.
Afternoon: drive to Albrighton, Shropshire, for Worfield Charity Concert Trust evening concert. Beautiful setting. Kirsty Whatley plays a blinder, and 'Sacred Time' is well received. Repeat performance of the concert on Sunday evening in Edgton. Stay with Geoff and Eileen at Tettenhall.

6 10/08/1999 Driving to school this morning had the feeling that there was a lowering of conscious level anticipating something. Another pupil absent through illness, and chance to re-shuffle teaching times, means home by 14-30. Find phone message from Scott, and after speaking further decide to go for a reduced ensemble for the DGM orchestration. Begin immediately, feeling bad that it cannot be included in Sunday's concert, but with the Albrighton Hall, Shropshire premiere tomorrow evening, as well as RNCM Junior School day (plus all the travelling), it is not physically possible to re-score and write out the parts in time. Re-score it in time for November recording. No time to even think today about CGT piece, let alone other projects. Booked rail ticket for Alison Hayhurt's Hackney Autumn Festival concert next Thurday. Impossible to return for Kirsty's third performance of the harp piece at Manchester University next Friday lunchtime. Only 50 pages more of Forte/Gilbert to read, and counting-down to 'Introduction to Graphic Analysis' series of mini- lectures beginning second week of November at Liverpool University. Count this weekend as a break before another exhausting onslaught begins.

5 10/07/1999 A strange day. Begins normally, but sense something may happen. Teaching, but pupil absent so RNCM Junior School work prepared (figured bass realisation), DGM orchestration project revised in terms of the double bass part, One Voice piece final page revised and sent and, later, receive postcard from Sheila and Geoff from Lake District of snow covered Skiddaw and Carl Side (know these well having walked them several times), which burns into soul. Dream is partially realised from earlier this year: '...a young student advises me to study the works of Alan Bush.' At the time know nothing about Alan Bush. Visited Grove in Fleetwood Library to find out something about this composer, then library phone this evening saying they have the Alan Bush CD which was ordered over a month ago. Rush to library for it. Listen. On summer holiday listened hard to Michael Nyman's Fourth String Quartet, particularly on ascent to Scafell. Sleeve notes reveal Nyman studied with Bush. Unaware of this at the time. Very impressed with the Nyman piece, which seems to have an affinity with the Bush piece (Variations, Nocturne and Finale on an Old English Sea-song). Today, unexpectedly, ideas come for CGT piece. Don't rush these. Listen to Scriabin Piano Sonata No. 7 (Messe Blanche). Shock! Never heard this before, but close to Pneuma or vice-versa. Why? 3 10/05/1999 9-00 - 12-15: teaching. Had a brief look at the DGM orchestration after Scott's E-mail yesterday. Is there a possibility it could be arranged for a smaller string ensemble? A feeling that the 15 piece ensemble will be more balanced with a greater variety of sonority, particularly with the many overlapping stases, but a smaller ensemble may be a possibility. Best to give it a couple of days to settle in the mind. Find one or two copying errors.

12-30: telephone conversation with Iain Cameron re funding possibilities. It's encouraging to speak to someone who really does understand the problems facing composers when dealing with this. Iain is, hopefully, attending the DGM/Opus 20 CD launch concert this Sunday at the Guildhall, Barbican, so will speak further then.

12-45 - 14-15: at the piano playing through Mozart, Liszt and Grieg 'Poetic Tone Pictures Op. 3, No.2' for Liverpool lectures. Delightful music, but having problems with the harmonic content. Possible to see why Debussy, even though influenced by Grieg, tired of these cliches: absence of harmonic tension. Also look through the music for California Guitar Trio's arrangement of Beethoven's 5th, first movement. Great economy of means. Sounds bigger than it actually looks on paper. Write down an idea for the beginning of a possible piece for the CGT. Do nothing more until after the weekend concerts. G.'s ideas of 'essence' and 'personality' are to the point.

14-15 - 15-10: teaching. Fine, warm autumn day. School buildings look splendid in the sunlight. The dying ivy, covering the buildings, is turning red. Speak to colleague about fatigue at this stage of term, who gives words of encouragement. Cross and Ross's 'Fly Home' on my mind all day. Beautiful song.

(Recent dream: meet a colleague in a well respected music conservatoire. We both ask ourselves what we're doing working in a place such as this, as we'd both vowed to each other we wouldn't.)

1 10/03/1999 The proportions of the DGM orchestration project were overhauled on Friday and last night (Saturday), at 19-35, the final double-barline was drawn. The dynamics were added by 11-25 this morning, and a first edition fair score was complete. Some artistic license: one or two of the high harmonics, present on the original, have been added. Also, dynamics have been intensified. Photocopy, bind and send scores to Bert, Scott, David and Robert tomorrow or Tuesday. Next: copy the parts, hopeful it may work in practice, then record it. Alessandra Rombola, Italian flautist, E-mails on Friday saying she has decided to play In The Clear at BMIC in London next June. Scott Stromann also interested in seeing a score of Upon The Edge Of Autumn, for orchestra, for possible performance. Send tomorrow. Really got to grips with Ouspensky on Saturday train journey to Manchester: self-observation, waking up (synchronicity: bought second-hand score of J.S.Bach's Wachet Auf in Liverpool Last Wednesday), objective states of consciousness and 'buffers'. Integration needed not just good intentions. Still feel G. has some affinity with Jung.

8-05: E-mail from ex-student Riccardo Terranova from Des Moines, Iowa, with words of friendship and encouragement. Pleased everything has turned out well for him: now married Ricc is playing in band and working for computer company.

11-25: drive to Staveley in the Lake District. No strenuous, high-level walks today, but a need of silence. We walk up an old pack-horse route towards Badger Hall without reaching proposed destination: too shattered from the previous week's work. The high fells of Kentmere Pike and Harter Fell have already turned a pale yellow in the autumn winds. Fresh and damp atmosphere with much water in the becks from previous night of heavy rain. A rainbow hangs over Green Quarter Fell all the time we are there. Marvellous smell of rotting vegetation. The ferns are already dying. Head clears and tea in restaurant in Windermere. Busy week ahead with teaching and performances.